Friends–
Here is an article from the Annals of Surgery which headlines that Surgeons don’t discuss end of life care, especially when they are performing risky procedures: http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/16/us-directives-idUSTRE7BF0F720111216
(More details are available here: http://www.surgery.wisc.edu/research/publication/1341 )
But if you read more closely, at least in this Reuters news piece, what you see is that the surgeons feel their hands are or may be tied by a paper that says “No CPR” or “DNR” (do not resuscitate) or the like. So some do not want to ask in the first place.
The surgeons are right to be confused and frustrated by Advance Directives. What they need to do their healing is to have a flexible, reasoned approach to the exigencies that come up during operations.
What is needed is someone they can consult (an authorized and informed, but more than that, reflective and caring person) and with whom they can make a decision.
And that spells just one thing: Conversation, lots of conversation before the day of the operation with a trusted person to whom you have given a broad POA. Conversation, lots of continuing conversation.
:- Doug.