Author Archives: dgermann

About dgermann

Elder Caring Lawyer

How do you want them to experience your death?

How do you want your children and grandchildren to experience your death?

:- Doug.

Posted in Death and dying, Family | Leave a comment

Preparing your children?

What are you doing to prepare your children for your death?

:- Doug.

Posted in Death and dying, Eldering, Family | Leave a comment

The right answer to aging?

What is the right answer to aging? What is the right answer to caring for your parents?

:- Doug.

Posted in Aging, Caring, Family | Leave a comment

What does it mean to be a burden?

What about caring with you would be a burden? What does it mean to be a burden? Was it a burden to change your children’s diapers?

:- Doug.

Posted in Aging, Caring, Death and dying, Family, Healing and Wholeness | Leave a comment

Who can we be?

Dad’s getting older, maybe dying—who can we yet be together?

:- Doug.

Posted in Aging, Death and dying, Family | Leave a comment

Vending machine picture of law

Many times we have a vending machine picture of law: put in a coin, out comes a certain result, predictably. Time by time we find we are in a flowing stream with 10,000 variables floating past, each can touch us, change us, bend the results, and become new starting places.

:- Doug.

Posted in Aging, Caring, Conversation, Death and dying, Dreams, Eldering, Emergency/Crisis Medical, Estates Administration & Probate, Family, Grieving, Healing and Wholeness, Long-Term Care, Powers of Attorney, Trusts and Trusting, Wills | Leave a comment

Elder caring is like running the East Race

Elder caring is like running the East Race. I do not know how it will come out. It is different each time.

:- Doug.

Posted in Caring | Leave a comment

When one of us is aging….

When one of us is aging our only options are to respond with love or fear. Anything not love is fear.

:- Doug.

Posted in Aging, Conversation, Family, Healing and Wholeness | Leave a comment

This family can….

This family can live and love into our future. Let’s get to work.

:- Doug.

Posted in Family, Healing and Wholeness | Leave a comment

What would you be willing to do?

What would you be willing to do to help your family come alive now?

:- Doug.

What would you be willing to do to help your family come alive now?

Posted in Aging, Family | Leave a comment

How young are you?

How young are you?

:- Doug.

Posted in Aging, Healing and Wholeness | Leave a comment

What questions could this family ask?

What questions could this family ask which would start us on a game of hide and seek?

:- Doug.

Posted in Aging, Conversation, Family | Leave a comment

Working with caring people

I work with caring people
some of whom are
elders of our tribe

:- Doug.

Posted in Caring, Eldering | Leave a comment

Thinking clearly with our hearts.

Thinking clearly with our hearts.

:- Doug.

Posted in Conversation, Eldering, Healing and Wholeness | Leave a comment

Elder life

Elder life is a question without an answer.

:- Doug.

Posted in Eldering | Leave a comment

Blessing are here

One of the most pernicious things we do in this society is to act as if we are separate from others, especially from our family and friends. They benefit from us, and we from them. We should not withdraw, fearing that we might be a burden to others, that we are interfering with their lives. We are part of each other’s lives. We ought to share what is going on, burdens and sorrows as well as joys and capacities. Parents take care of young children; parents should be willing to ask adult children to share lives in later years. There is much to be gained, only little things to be lost. I have a new disability, I have a need, we have a wisdom to share and a hand to help. Blessings are here and not in pulling away.

:- Doug.

Posted in Conversation, Family, Long-Term Care | Leave a comment

Ask for bigger eyes

It is difficult in family long term care settings to see any larger truth, let alone make sense of it. What to do when we are blind?

Maybe we can ask of one another:

What else do you notice?
What is possible now?
Tell me if I have heard you right….
Tell me a story about why this is important….
Have there been times when you saw things differently, saw hope?
What do we believe is true in this situation?
What are our assumptions?

Essentially: 1. call a time out and 2. ask for bigger eyes.

:- Doug.

Posted in Aging, Conversation, Family, Long-Term Care | Leave a comment