The term “directive” in the phrase Advance Directives goes too far. First it seems obligatory, when what is going on is in the nature of a request: help me, use your best faculties to figure out what’s best for a situation I never expected to face when I cannot make known my wishes. Second it assumes that we know what we want in all settings. We do not. We cannot. We need your help to gather information and wants and desires, dreams and hopes, possibilities and needs and then choose a series of tentative steps forward. We need a better term, something along the lines of Advancing Conversations.