Monthly Archives: April 2012

Our elders: a resource we’re wasting.

Our elders: a resource we’re wasting. :- Doug.

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turn our heads when lost

We often get stuck in what’s not working, what’s the problem. Let us resolve to turn our heads when lost and see what is working. In our families, when we are hurt or afraid and want to pull away, we … Continue reading

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Untangling the emotions

Yesterday I met with two sisters to converse about care for Mom. The meeting grew heated; one was dog tired. The sisters have a need to continue as family. Both need to find a way to deal with their emotions. … Continue reading

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We do not die alone

We do not die alone. We die in the midst of us. In most settings, the person is ripped from the cloth, leaving stretched and torn threads. We all die a bit, we all contract, we might expand. If the … Continue reading

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Being part of a good death

What does it mean to you to have a good death? What does it mean to a family to be part of a good death? Given the people you are given in your family, what might a good death be? … Continue reading

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Playing well together

In families we love to devise ways to play well together. Does more experience with playing together help us? Does more experience with playing well together help us? :- Doug.

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Do we want to let them?

Out of fear some people do not want to have the conversation about care of Mother or Father at end of life. What is the antidote to fear? Love. How can love step in? Firmly? Some other way? What would … Continue reading

Posted in Conversation, Death and living while dying, Emergency/Crisis Medical, Family, Healing and Wholeness | Leave a comment

Affording you as client

If at the start you have to ask what a service will cost, maybe I cannot afford you as a client. Maybe you are so hung up on money that you will be blinded to doing what you need. That … Continue reading

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Don’t count on the VA….

Don’t count on the Veteran’s Administration or even Medicaid for all your Long-Term Care. You still need love: a kind touch, a cold wash cloth. :- Doug.

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Given Mom’s dementia or decline….

Given this—Dad’s dementia or Mom’s decline—how can we fit together, now? What are our special gifts, needs, fears and visions, and what’s possible with us? :- Doug.

Posted in Family, Healing and Wholeness, Long-Term Care and nursing homes | Leave a comment

Indiana Premier: Last Will & Embezzlement

Friends– Come out and see, without cost, the Indiana premier of the documentary (featuring Mickey Rooney), “Last Will and Embezzlement.” Wednesday evening, May 30, 2012, at the O’Laughlin Auditorium at Saint Mary’s College, Notre Dame, IN. Doors open 6:00 pm, … Continue reading

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Is wanting to die at home unrealistic?

Yesterday I saw a writing which suggested that wanting to die at home is looking at things through rose colored glasses, that many families are overwhelmed with caring for someone at home and prefer in the end to have the … Continue reading

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What can we find?

What can we find in elder conversation? :- Doug.

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Will me a secret

Will me a secret Playful one Will me a piece of junk That I have the fun Of figuring why you’d Will me that Secret :- Doug.

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Retirement: bringing family closer

There is another image coming for me today: retirement, our own later years, turning them purposely toward bringing family closer together. We work and play with these our family members, children, grandchildren, sister, brother, individually and together. With renewed intention … Continue reading

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I am not the expert

I am not the expert. I am not here to teach you anything. You are the experts. You will teach—and invent me and each other. :- Doug.

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Financial planning these days….

Much financial planning these days is grounded in an unstated end game of self sufficiency. It’s all about me. We will not rely upon our children in our retirement, we will do what we want. We will not even involve … Continue reading

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