Monthly Archives: April 2012

Met a medical resident who….

Met a medical resident who seemed wise beyond his years. He said the conversation is difficult because sometimes the patient rejects the conversation. Is it done as simply as to say, He wouldn’t go any further? Does it absolve your … Continue reading

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Who has responsibility?

Who as the responsibility to call this conversation about end of life? Parent or child? Lawyer or client? Doctor or patient? How do we decide? Whoever has the larger view? Whoever can see the harm from not having the conversation? … Continue reading

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Have you ever met anyone…?

Have you ever met anyone else whose work is elder conversations? These conversations run the range from how to live well within the budget and family we have, to how to live the last chapter of our lives. They often … Continue reading

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to remind me

I call myself an Elder Caring Attorney to remind me to be caring. :- Doug.

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Room for us professionals to be more than technicians

There is room for us as professionals to be more than technicians. There is still a role for us to be compassionate. You can make a difference. You can be kind and caring. Perhaps that’s why you got into this … Continue reading

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Doctors, nurses, social workers:

Doctors, nurses, social workers, all you who assist us in dying well: Think of a time when you did this well. Tell us the story. What made it good? What made it comfortable or got you through the uncomfortable parts? … Continue reading

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Nervousness and the last chapter

I am disorganizing our community nervousness around the last chapter. :- Doug.

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Beyond exchanging information

Even though this is love at work, don’t think that in this conversation you are only exchanging information. (I love this word invent for two of its meanings: one means create; a second much older meaning sounds strange to our … Continue reading

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Not primarily a medical decision

End of life is not primarily a medical decision. Nor legal. In this age when acute illnesses have become chronic, it is becoming more and more a personal decision. But people don’t know that they have a choice, or when. … Continue reading

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End of life living

End of life is not a slag heap, a pile of decaying refuse. Living happens here. How can we best serve life? :- Doug.

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When it comes my time to die….

It’s seldom a question of knowing when to say when, but of working it out. When I write a poem there are a hundred right ways to say what needs to be said. My primary urge is to express the … Continue reading

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Starting what cannot be finished….

In living with our families—elder and younger together—do we play together in a way that what we are starting cannot be finished? :- Doug.

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When to say when….

I think ordinary people—not just professionals—need to know when to say when. I need your help so we can all learn this skill—invent this skill. :- Doug.

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Freeing elders from prison….

We have to think more broadly—we have to free our elders from the prisons we put them in. We need to return them to home and family—even if we have to create new forms of home and family. :- Doug.

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When someone is dying….

When someone is dying the rules of living change. How they see life, how we see each other, how we see our roles with the dying person and the rest of the family—all these change. But they can change for … Continue reading

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Long-term care is not about who pays but how we choose to live.

Long-term care is not about who pays but how we choose to live. :- Doug.

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A message from your children

I have a message for you. From your children. But they’re afraid to bring it up, are even repulsed by the very idea. It falls to you then to do something about it. Because this is how we love one … Continue reading

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