Here is a double blind spot we have in end of life care: we ask each other what our goals are. Double blind because first we assume that we know what end we want to experience; and second we do not want to look beyond this person’s death: we cut short our caring. But life and pain and good go on. What effects of a painful or peaceful death are there on family and immediate caregivers? What effects on our society and how we do this to and for ourselves when most helpless? Goals, end points to our thinking, can do us harm.