Category Archives: Death and living while dying
Gentle and kind and respecting….
How can I make sure I get end of life treatment that is gentle and kind and respects my wishes? :- Doug.
First years, last years
What’s the same for first years and last are soft food, help with walking, incontinence. Might a difference be in our rhythms? Infants are constantly going, their arms and legs and faces a continual moving picture. Oldsters seem to be … Continue reading →
Your question as an act of service
What is the most profound question you could ask yourself as you think about end of life? How is that an act of service? :- Doug.
The last three days:
The last three days: Who is there? What is the work you are doing? Is it all about you, or are you eldering your children and grandchildren? :- Doug.
“They know what I want.”
You cannot know what you want until you meet it in conversation. Here you discover and form. “They know what I want” can be avoidance of the questions. :- Doug.
If you think you might die someday….
If you think you might die some day, what are you willing to do to make that better for your children and grandchildren? When? :- Doug.
When we are dying, how can we help our family?
When we are dying, what can we do to help our family? What does my death teach them? My life? How profound can we be for them? :- Doug.
To speak of a right to die is silly
To speak of a right to die is silly—as if we were not all going to die. The right we want is the right to the kind of death we want—gentle, noticed, felt. :- Doug.
What’s possible?
How can I die the death I want if I don’t know what’s possible? :- Doug.
A right to our own deaths
We should have a right to our own deaths. Yet we are stealing it from one another, throwing it under our wheels, or simply not knowing how to give it to one another. :- Doug.
Purely medical?
Are the end of life decisions purely medical? :- Doug.
What are the markers?
What are the markers to know the end of life decisions are coming? :- Doug.
How do you want them to experience your death?
How do you want your children and grandchildren to experience your death? :- Doug.
Preparing your children?
What are you doing to prepare your children for your death? :- Doug.
What does it mean to be a burden?
What about caring with you would be a burden? What does it mean to be a burden? Was it a burden to change your children’s diapers? :- Doug.
Posted in Aging, Caring, Death and living while dying, Family, Healing and Wholeness
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Who can we be?
Dad’s getting older, maybe dying—who can we yet be together? :- Doug.
Vending machine picture of law
Many times we have a vending machine picture of law: put in a coin, out comes a certain result, predictably. Time by time we find we are in a flowing stream with 10,000 variables floating past, each can touch us, … Continue reading →