Category Archives: Conversation

Ask for bigger eyes

Posted on May 4, 2012 by dgermann

It is difficult in family long term care settings to see any larger truth, let alone make sense of it. What to do when we are blind? Maybe we can ask of one another: What else do you notice? What … Continue reading →

Posted in Aging, Conversation, Family, Long-Term Care and nursing homes | Leave a comment

turn our heads when lost

Posted on April 29, 2012 by dgermann

We often get stuck in what’s not working, what’s the problem. Let us resolve to turn our heads when lost and see what is working. In our families, when we are hurt or afraid and want to pull away, we … Continue reading →

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Do we want to let them?

Posted on April 25, 2012 by dgermann

Out of fear some people do not want to have the conversation about care of Mother or Father at end of life. What is the antidote to fear? Love. How can love step in? Firmly? Some other way? What would … Continue reading →

Posted in Conversation, Death and living while dying, Emergency/Crisis Medical, Family, Healing and Wholeness | Leave a comment

What can we find?

Posted on April 23, 2012 by dgermann

What can we find in elder conversation? :- Doug.

Posted in Conversation, Eldering | Leave a comment

I am not the expert

Posted on April 21, 2012 by dgermann

I am not the expert. I am not here to teach you anything. You are the experts. You will teach—and invent me and each other. :- Doug.

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Met a medical resident who….

Posted on April 20, 2012 by dgermann

Met a medical resident who seemed wise beyond his years. He said the conversation is difficult because sometimes the patient rejects the conversation. Is it done as simply as to say, He wouldn’t go any further? Does it absolve your … Continue reading →

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Who has responsibility?

Posted on April 20, 2012 by dgermann

Who as the responsibility to call this conversation about end of life? Parent or child? Lawyer or client? Doctor or patient? How do we decide? Whoever has the larger view? Whoever can see the harm from not having the conversation? … Continue reading →

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Have you ever met anyone…?

Posted on April 19, 2012 by dgermann

Have you ever met anyone else whose work is elder conversations? These conversations run the range from how to live well within the budget and family we have, to how to live the last chapter of our lives. They often … Continue reading →

Posted in Caring, Conversation, Death and living while dying, Dreams, Eldering, Family, Healing and Wholeness | Leave a comment

Doctors, nurses, social workers:

Posted on April 18, 2012 by dgermann

Doctors, nurses, social workers, all you who assist us in dying well: Think of a time when you did this well. Tell us the story. What made it good? What made it comfortable or got you through the uncomfortable parts? … Continue reading →

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Beyond exchanging information

Posted on April 17, 2012 by dgermann

Even though this is love at work, don’t think that in this conversation you are only exchanging information. (I love this word invent for two of its meanings: one means create; a second much older meaning sounds strange to our … Continue reading →

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When it comes my time to die….

Posted on April 15, 2012 by dgermann

It’s seldom a question of knowing when to say when, but of working it out. When I write a poem there are a hundred right ways to say what needs to be said. My primary urge is to express the … Continue reading →

Posted in Conversation, Death and living while dying, Poetry | Leave a comment

A message from your children

Posted on April 12, 2012 by dgermann

I have a message for you. From your children. But they’re afraid to bring it up, are even repulsed by the very idea. It falls to you then to do something about it. Because this is how we love one … Continue reading →

Posted in Conversation, Death and living while dying, Emergency/Crisis Medical | Leave a comment

Family Council: something begins

Posted on April 11, 2012 by dgermann

One purpose of Family Council is to open space for inspired, workable next steps, in a setting where We is more important than Do, in a setting where the next steps are confused. Something begins. :- Doug.

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Even in our last days

Posted on April 6, 2012 by dgermann

There are many parts to the human. Let’s take for instance head, hand and heart. All tire at different rates. The longer our view, the more that is possible to us. The more we see, the more we see. Our … Continue reading →

Posted in Caring, Conversation, Death and living while dying, Dreams, Eldering, Emergency/Crisis Medical, Family, Healing and Wholeness, Long-Term Care and nursing homes | Leave a comment

In this family together

Posted on April 6, 2012 by dgermann

We are in this family and in this setting together. Only together do we move on. Even if some of us pull away and stop participating, the whole of us must adjust and find a way forward. We might be … Continue reading →

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If doctors

Posted on April 6, 2012 by dgermann

If doctors have no desire for conversation, then we can take on having the conversation for them. :- Doug.

Posted in Caring, Conversation, Eldering, Emergency/Crisis Medical | Leave a comment

The art of the continually unfolding possible

Posted on April 5, 2012 by dgermann

In a law suit our lawyer said, “It’s only about the money.” But now as I consider, life is about What’s possible now? Law is the art of the possible. The art of the continually unfolding possible. :- Doug.

Posted in Conversation, Dreams, Eldering, Healing and Wholeness, Long-Term Care and nursing homes, Wills | Leave a comment