Category Archives: Death and living while dying
We do not die alone
We do not die alone. We die in the midst of us. In most settings, the person is ripped from the cloth, leaving stretched and torn threads. We all die a bit, we all contract, we might expand. If the … Continue reading →
Being part of a good death
What does it mean to you to have a good death? What does it mean to a family to be part of a good death? Given the people you are given in your family, what might a good death be? … Continue reading →
Do we want to let them?
Out of fear some people do not want to have the conversation about care of Mother or Father at end of life. What is the antidote to fear? Love. How can love step in? Firmly? Some other way? What would … Continue reading →
Is wanting to die at home unrealistic?
Yesterday I saw a writing which suggested that wanting to die at home is looking at things through rose colored glasses, that many families are overwhelmed with caring for someone at home and prefer in the end to have the … Continue reading →
Met a medical resident who….
Met a medical resident who seemed wise beyond his years. He said the conversation is difficult because sometimes the patient rejects the conversation. Is it done as simply as to say, He wouldn’t go any further? Does it absolve your … Continue reading →
Who has responsibility?
Who as the responsibility to call this conversation about end of life? Parent or child? Lawyer or client? Doctor or patient? How do we decide? Whoever has the larger view? Whoever can see the harm from not having the conversation? … Continue reading →
Have you ever met anyone…?
Have you ever met anyone else whose work is elder conversations? These conversations run the range from how to live well within the budget and family we have, to how to live the last chapter of our lives. They often … Continue reading →
Doctors, nurses, social workers:
Doctors, nurses, social workers, all you who assist us in dying well: Think of a time when you did this well. Tell us the story. What made it good? What made it comfortable or got you through the uncomfortable parts? … Continue reading →
Nervousness and the last chapter
I am disorganizing our community nervousness around the last chapter. :- Doug.
Not primarily a medical decision
End of life is not primarily a medical decision. Nor legal. In this age when acute illnesses have become chronic, it is becoming more and more a personal decision. But people don’t know that they have a choice, or when. … Continue reading →
End of life living
End of life is not a slag heap, a pile of decaying refuse. Living happens here. How can we best serve life? :- Doug.
When it comes my time to die….
It’s seldom a question of knowing when to say when, but of working it out. When I write a poem there are a hundred right ways to say what needs to be said. My primary urge is to express the … Continue reading →
When to say when….
I think ordinary people—not just professionals—need to know when to say when. I need your help so we can all learn this skill—invent this skill. :- Doug.
When someone is dying….
When someone is dying the rules of living change. How they see life, how we see each other, how we see our roles with the dying person and the rest of the family—all these change. But they can change for … Continue reading →
A message from your children
I have a message for you. From your children. But they’re afraid to bring it up, are even repulsed by the very idea. It falls to you then to do something about it. Because this is how we love one … Continue reading →
If I am to die well
If I am to die well I need you to place my story in yours If I am to die well I need you to love me :- Doug.
How do we die in our times?
How do we die in our times? Would we die heroically, meaningfully, or as many of us do, with a whimper? :- Doug.