Category Archives: Death and living while dying
Why free of pain and mentally present?
Why would you want to be free of pain and mentally present in your last days? Because otherwise you could be prevented from doing something meaningful to you. :- Doug.
A secret about getting what you want
The absolute most important thing you can do if you want to get what you want to get when you’re approaching death is to approach someone who will be there and tell ’em what you want to get. Converse. The … Continue reading →
Posted in Caring, Death and living while dying, Eldering, Family, Healing and Wholeness
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10 ways we can be kind to people dying
What are 10 ways we can be kind to people who are dying? :- Doug.
10 ways people want to be treated approaching death
List at least 10 ways people want to be treated when they are approaching death. Are there any of these with which you strongly disagree? If your mother or father wanted that could you do it for them if you … Continue reading →
if you haven’t asked them?
How do you know they know what you’d want, if you haven’t asked them? :- Doug.
Still living?
Do you do anything for enjoyment? Anything to say you’re still living? :- Doug.
Embarrassed to die???
“She would be embarrassed to die and wouldn’t want people around.” “Have you asked her?” :- Doug.
The individual as the gold standard
The gold standard in much of our life in this culture, especially in the care of those approaching death, is the individual. What does that individual want? Yet each of us is made up of many of us: our parents, … Continue reading →
The best place?
Can we be the best place in America to die? :- Doug.
How then…?
How then shall we die? :- Doug.
“As you wish”
How you are cared for as you die is about autonomy—you should be able to die as you wish—but also your “as you wish” can only be complete after hearing out your loving ones. When you die, a part of … Continue reading →
Your last 5 things
What is the work of dying? Say you have days to weeks left; you are conscious, alert and pain free. Please ponder for a couple of moments what you would want to be doing during this time. Write at least … Continue reading →
If a bureaucrat made your final decisions
What if your doctor said you had to choose between cure with lots of pain or no efforts to cure but pain would be relieved? What if it were not your doctor but a bureaucrat? When it comes to the … Continue reading →
From autonomy to making room for family in eol
My thinking is turning gradually from the absolute standard of autonomy, making some room in my thinking for what are the wishes of the family, defining family as all those around who are approaching death with this person, who will … Continue reading →
Invite people
Invite people to notice when they are doing well. :- Doug.
Look about you
Encourage people to look about them in care of the dying. :- Doug.
A system of compassion for the dying?
Is it possible to have a system of compassion for the dying today—in the face of restricted budgets, limited time, and a culture of we can fix anything? :- Doug.